2.    Pay a Visit to the New CommunityOnly not alone, but with your little one! Seeing the community, their new home, and meeting the neighboring kids should get them excited enough to remain calm. Make sure to take them there before you've officially relocated, though. The earlier they start associating their new environment with positive things, the easier and faster they will adjust.
 
If you haven't yet decided where you'll be moving with a toddler, consider the prospects of living in a smaller community. People tend to avoid crowded areas, especially those who have children. For a reason, of course! Preschools and schools in big cities are typically overcrowded. If the goal is for your little one to receive the best possible education, having them go to a facility in a less-dense environment should be a well-made choice.

3.    Don't Change Your Toddler's RoutineIf your child has already gotten used to a specific schedule, try to stick to it by any means necessary. A sudden change in routine can make them think something has gone terribly wrong. They may become agitated and follow that with a tantrum. Yes, it might be hard to tuck them into bed and, at the same time, read their favorite bedtime story or keep up with the daily playing sessions while moving. But hey, it will make your toddler seemingly in control and thus happy. In addition, by committing to the same old routine, you allow yourself a chance to destress. And God knows you need it during these trying times!

4.    Pack Up Your Kid's Room LastYour child's room is their safe haven. And it should remain that while the rest of your old house gets stripped of character, thanks to the packing process. Up until the end of packing, your kid should have their room to retreat to when the feeling of sadness creeps in. That's why it's essential to pack it up only once there is absolutely no more postponing it - after the rest of your belongings have already made it into boxes.​

Of course, when the time to box up their room comes, make moving with a toddler a breeze by including them in the process! Let them sort out their toys and place them into boxes that you will label together. It should go without saying that you must provide supervision during this event.

5.    Unpack Their Room FirstYou should always wait for the end to pack your child's belongings, but they should be the first ones you unpack upon arrival. If possible, have their next room set up before they've even stepped foot inside the house so that they can settle in as soon as possible. Aim to arrange their things similarly to the way they were in their previous room. This will spark a sense of familiarity in your toddler, thus, making them feel just at home faster.

6.    Stay Clear of the Old HouseYour little one needs closure in order to fully adapt to living in a new house. Having them revisit the old place will provide anything but that! What's more, seeing it empty may even scare them and, as a result, make moving with a toddler a hundred times harder! Instead of going to the old place, assure your child that a house is only a structure. The memories made there won't go anywhere. They'll stay forever locked in their hearts and minds. Now comes the time to make new ones! But first, they must give their new home a chance!
Meta description: Moving is tough, let alone moving with a toddler! Actually, the whole process can easily turn into a nightmare. But not with these tips!

Photos used:
https://www.pexels.com/photo/family-unpacking-after-moving-4569340/
https://unsplash.com/photos/Cq9slNxV8YU
https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-in-white-long-sleeve-shirt-holding-pen-4569341/
https://unsplash.com/photos/VsB_Q52O3Jk

Set your clocks back! In Fall, time “falls back” on the first weekend in November in the early hours on Sunday. While adults sometimes struggle with the change, children have a rougher time because they can’t prepare as well as we can. Their bodies are in sync with the 24 hour clock and one full hour makes a big difference!

To help children adjust, try changing bedtime a little bit each day and several days before. Follow this simple process for a smoother transition rather than going cold turkey and crossing fingers that daylight savings will pass without a struggle (yeah right!).
​
Choose to stagger bedtime by 10, 15, or 20 minutes each night leading up to the time change. The only difference is shorter increments will mean starting the adjustment a few days sooner than a larger increment. By the time daylight savings ends, your child will be better prepped and ready for the new time! Plain and simple, yet very effective!

Bedtime Adjustment Examples
If your child’s bedtime is 8:00 pm, the schedule will look like…

10 Minute Option
Tuesday 8:10 bedtime 
Wednesday 8:20 bedtime 
Thursday 8:30 bedtime 
Friday 8:40 bedtime 
Saturday 8:50 bedtime 
Sunday 8:00 bedtime (new time, used to be 9pm)
Begin on Tuesday. Start bedtime 10 minutes later each night.

15 Minute Option
Thursday 8:15 bedtime 
Friday 8:30 bedtime 
Saturday 8:45 bedtime 
Sunday 8:00 bedtime (new time, used to be 9pm)
Begin on Thursday. Start 15 minutes later each night. 

20 Minute Option
Friday 8:20 bedtime 
Saturday 8:40 bedtime 
Sunday 8:00 bedtime (new time, used to be 9pm)
Begin on Friday. Start 20 minutes later each night. 

​www.contracostasupermoms.com

Updated on August 13th, 2020
​
Baby proofing your home is hardly a one-time event. As your child grows, so do potential hazards they’ll face and opportunities for your child to dirty and destroy your home that you just spent what felt like hours making spotless. Because let’s face it – although small, children have the unique ability to get into everything and create disorder. Protecting your child as well as your home means preventing accidents and staying ahead of their little curiosities. 
 
It doesn’t matter what style of home you live in, perhaps you live in a single-story condo in Miami, FL or a three-story home in Atlanta, GA, baby proofing your space is vital to your child’s safety while keeping your home clean and protected from damage. What will your child be able to get into once they start crawling, walking, or even climbing? It’s hard to tell, but taking the necessary steps to keep your home clean, and baby proofing to minimize any potential damage they could cause to themselves or your home can give you peace of mind.

Baby Proofing Your Home at Every Stage
Your baby may not begin crawling for many months, but baby proofing your home and setting up a stylish yet safe nursery beforehand is a smart way to create a safe environment for your child while reducing the chances of damage to your home in the near future. Consider taking the following safety measures while baby proofing your home:
 
Optimizing your home for an infant

• Keep baby monitors and cords three feet away from the crib.
• Keep the crib free of pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals.
• Make sure changing and bath areas are secure to prevent slips, rolls, and tumbles.
• As your baby proofing, secure all cords, including those on blinds and window coverings. Remember, any cord can be a hazard. Consider installing safety tassels or cord stops to tuck away the cords.
• Place the crib away from any windows, heaters, lamps, wall decorations, and cords. 

 
Preparing your home for a crawling baby

• Cover electrical outlets with electrical plugs and remove nightlights, air fresheners, and other plugins that are easy to pull out. 
• Secure or hide electrical cords. They’ll be sure to pull down anything they’re attached to making a lamp, stereo, or TV come crashing down on them and the floor.
• Close the toilet lid or place a latch on top.
• Add padding to tables with sharp corners or edges and Install finger-pinch guards for hinges on doors.
• When you’re baby proofing, install latches on doors, especially to stairs, cabinets, and appliances.
• Place cleaning products and other toxic chemicals in a safe, dry place with a latch or lock.
• Always keep the floor and low tables clear of small debris and other choking hazards.
• Empty bathtubs and buckets of water immediately after use.
• Use baby gates to keep your child safe from stairs or rooms that haven’t been childproofed.
• Anchor your television and unstable furniture, such as bookcases, dressers, and loose tables.

 
Protecting your home from a toddler while keeping them safe

• Keep all windows latched and add stoppers so they can’t be raised if they are accidentally unlatched. Kids not only can easily make holes in screens using their fingers and toys, but can also fall out of windows if they lean on the screens.
• Keep medicines in childproof containers in high cabinets that latch or lock. 
• Keep hot foods and liquids in the center of tables or at the back of counters.
• Make sure knobs on your stove and oven are securely covered or removed so your toddler doesn’t turn them on and possibly cause a fire
• Make sure doors lock from the outside so your toddler can’t accidentally lock themself in a room. 
• Secure doors that provide access to off-limit areas, like garages or workshops. 

Keeping your home clean and orderly at every stage
As you know, baby’s require a lot of attention and energy. As infants, it can feel like a never-ending cycle of feeding, burping, wiping, bathing, holding and cuddling, and finally, putting them to bed. So it may feel next to impossible to find the time and muster up the courage to face your household chores. Luckily, before your children can walk, you don’t need to worry about a mess scattered throughout the home. 
 
When your baby begins to crawl, they’re on the move and they will start getting into anything and everything within reach. However, keeping your house clean with a toddler is probably the biggest challenge. No matter what stage your child is at, the minute you’re finished cleaning one mess, another one is waiting for you. Whether it’s toys scattered around the room, food smeared on your furniture, or tiny handprints left on your sliding glass door, there is always something to clean up. Here are some ways to stay ahead of the mess at every stage:

Keeping your home clean with an infant

• Do laundry regularly. Laundry can become a time-consuming task if the clothes begin piling up. 
• Declutter and organize. Always have a designated spot for everything such as toys, baby clothes, medications, and bibs.
• Keep diapers, cleaning cloths and wipes, and cleaning supplies stored in various areas throughout the home in case of an accident.
• Clean your home before going to bed. Let’s face it, you’ll get better sleep knowing it’s been done.
• Apply a fabric and upholstery protective spray to your furniture to prevent any stains from accidents or spills.
• Lay down blankets to protect your carpet or area rug during tummy time or when changing their diaper.
• Consider purchasing a handheld shampooer for your rug or carpet to keep your carpet clean and reach deeper dirt, food, or stains.
• Place baby wipes and supplies out of reach of the baby, but keep them handy for any accidents.

 
Managing the mess with a crawling child

• Keep markers, pens, or crayons out of your child’s reach to avoid any upholstery or walls from getting drawn on.
• Use safe-spill drinking cups to avoid spills and stains.
• Pack away any valuables and breakables, and any furniture or decor that could be damaged.
• Store dry goods, heavy kitchen supplies, oils and spices, and sharp objects in an upper cabinet or a locked cabinet. 
• Find a safe place for everything so it’s easy to return your house back to normal after your baby goes to sleep.
• Purchase a basket or bin to hold your child’s toys. Having a set place for their toys can help to keep your house less cluttered.

 
Tidying up your home with a toddler

• Create designated play areas in your home. 
• Establish a cleaning routine and have your toddler help out so they’re invested in the cleaning process too.
• Consider placing rugs down to save your floors from scratches or dents.
• Vacuum regularly to pick up any dirt or spilled food.
• Give away or store any clothes, toys, or supplies that your toddler has outgrown.

https://www.redfin.com/blog/creating-a-baby-safe-home-interior/ ​

The COVID-19 coronavirus pandemic has impacted all walks of life including parents with childcare age children.
1Core Solution partnered with Childcare21, a not-for-profit organization with a mission to provide information and resources to the childcare industry, to conduct an informal survey to better understand the latest mindset of parents and the implications of those attitudes for the childcare providers as the economy gradually reopens.With over 30-million jobless claims, many families particularly those with young children in childcare are severely impacted.  In these uncertain times, childcare providers have extra challenges to bring back the families and keep everyone safe.
 
We contacted families with children in childcare age throughout the United States. Our surveyor conducted a questionnaire with all the parents who agreed to participate. Following is a summary of 11 key points that we learned from the survey:
 
Coping during Shelter In Place
1.     85% of the families we surveyed have at least one parent working from home while the other 15% of the families have parents who had recently lost their jobs due to the pandemic. A majority of those families who lost their jobs recently worked in lower income industries. For these lower income families, the parents told us that they have to choose between childcare or reentering the job market when the economy begins to reopen.
 
2.     40% of the parents told us that they plan to continue to work from home even after the shelter in place order is lifted as they still have concerns regarding the general safety in going back to their regular offices.
 
3.     Over 90% of the parents in the survey found the adjustment to having children home with them at all time to be extremely challenging. This is particularly true for the working parents stuck juggling their professional and childcare responsibilities at home.  The increased workload of keeping the children busy during the day, managing e-learning classes and all of the technical issues that can come with that are quite stressful.  Parents also feel guilty with the increased use of television, tablets and video games to entertain their children as they have to fill the day with activities and get work and household chores done.
 
4.     Only about 12% of the families surveyed are receiving support from their employers. A majority of the families wish they can get more support from their employers and the state and federal government.
 
Attitude about Childcare
5.     While the shelter in place is happening, 70% of families say they are worried about still paying for childcare while their child is not attending or e-learning while 20% were somewhat worried and 10% not worried at all.  It is easier for parents who are still employed. 86% of the parents understand why it is important to keep teachers on and support the school during this difficult time.  42% of the families surveyed, particularly those who lost their jobs are extremely concerned about their ability to pay for childcare.
 
6.     About 33% of families with two working parents are discussing strategy to cope with the scenario of losing their jobs, perhaps with one parent working from home, quitting their job or not looking for a new one if they were laid off so one parent can stay home with the child.
 
7.     When asked how comfortable parents would be sending their children back to childcare when the shelter in place is lifted, most would send the children back to childcare if they have confidence that the center school would do daily health screenings on children and teachers every day, deep clean at night and follow the other CDC guidelines.
 
Expectations from the Childcare Providers
8.     When asked specifically, parents agreed that the adoption of touchless mechanism like touchless sign-in/out, online payment and fully paperless registration with eSignature are very important to them.
 
9.     When asked what else would increase their confidence to send their children back to the childcare centers, 52% of parents like the idea of simple live streaming from  their child classroom. These parents said that this is helpful to give them peace of mind that their children are fine and safe.
 
10.  Another emerging trend noticed from the survey is the request for virtual center tour. 65% of the parents surveyed indicated that in the event that they have to look for childcare away from the centers where their children are currently attending (due to centers permanent closures or safety concerns), they would prefer to do the initial search of possible childcare via virtual center tour.
 
11.  67% of the families surveyed expressed an interest to learn more about virtual preschool. Their responses are more favorable when it was explained to them that virtual preschool includes a turnkey system where it comes with step-by-step instructions on how to setup a room at home for the preschool age child(ren) that is childcare friendly and where the virtual preschool teacher can engage their child while they are working at home. The interest level goes even higher when the parents view the virtual preschool as a more cost-effective option when used as a supplement to regular childcare.
 
All in all, parents, particularly those who are still working, seem eager to get back to their regular schedules and get back to work knowing that they trust their school and their children's teachers that the children will be cared for and measures are in place for them to safely return to school.
 
While no one knows for sure at this time about the long term impact of the pandemic, it is likely that COVID-19 is here to stay like a flu.  We hope this blog post provides useful information to childcare providers as they prepare to reopen but do what they can to pandemic proof their business. 
 
About Us
1Core Solution is a leading cloud-based software provider for the childcare industry for the last 15 years. Our true all-in-one (thus the name 1 Core) solution platform is designed to allow childcare providers to manage all aspects of the childcare business.  Furthermore, our recent COVID responsive features like touchless sign-in/out along with daily health screening and 100% paperless registration with eSign flow have helped our clients to better deal with the new normal.  To learn more, please visit www.1coresolution.com.

Summer Bucket List
June 20, 2020 by Hillary Schulte

​For 2020, our bucket list has been updated with social distancing in mind. All bucket list ideas can be done at home or in your neighborhood! We are hoping that for the summer of 2021 things will be back more to “normal” and can include more things like camping, social activities and travel. Borrow this list or use it as inspiration to make your very own! 
Fly a kite
Go for a hike
Ride a bike
Read a book
Have a picnic
Go bird watching
Dance to music
Stargaze
Create a neighborhood scavenger hunt
Try a new ice cream flavor
“Build a Burger” for dinner
Watch a movie
Family game night
BBQ dinner
Make a fruit salad
Go cloud watching
Plant vegetables
Play family charades
Make art for your front window
Tell a story
Sidewalk chalk
“Paint” outside using water and brushes
Write a letter to family
Make s’mores
Camp in your backyard
Run through a sprinkler
Watch a sunrise
Watch a sunset
Tell a story
Build a fort
Write a poem


When social distancing eases and shelter in place orders are lifted:
Volunteer 2 hours
Try rock climbing in a gym or outdoors
Go bowling
Go snorkeling 
Go camping
Play miniature golf
Go to the beach
Try boogie boarding or surfing
Go to the drive-in movies
Watch fireworks
Go to a park
Go swimming or to a splash park
Watch a baseball game
Sit by a campfire

​https://www.contracostasupermoms.com/summer-bucket-list/

The Do's and Don'ts of Toddler DisciplineSo you've got yourself a little toddler there – good times. Dana Carvey once quipped “They're not so bad, just keep M&M's in your pocket and feed 'em here and there.”

If only it were so easy. What makes them so terrible sometimes? That answer is not as mysterious as it sometimes seems (e.g., in the eye of a tantrum at Target checkout).

Think about it – right now while you're calm and not tantrumming back at them. What are they grappling with that we have learned and hence take for granted? Two things: they don't know how to communicate yet and they don't know how to manage the overwhelming emotions they're experiencing for the first time. Wouldn't that make you want to freak out?

Well, the next time your toddler does, take solace in the fact that you have choices on how to react. What's more, if you make the “right” choices, they're gonna' freak out less and less.

​I'm going to elaborate but first, allow me to establish some irrefutable truths of human nature – truths that will light your way in your quest to curb your toddler's seemingly unruly behavior and hence bring you more peace and quiet.

1. Human beings wish to be treated with respect. It's innate and it's evident as early as one year. If you want your child to heed your guidance, you will want to treat him with respect.
2. Children don't naturally want to “misbehave.” Sure they're wired to test a bit, but if they do it repeatedly it's because they have been conditioned to or have not been taught how else to behave.
3. The word “discipline” has a latin meaning of “instruction, knowledge.” “Disciple” means “learner.” (please note the absence of the terms “training” or “punishment.”)
4. Young children learn best by modeling behavior.
5. “Anger is the enemy of instruction.” OK, it's a quote from eleven-time NBA championship coach Phil Jackson, but I'm putting it here in the irrefutable truths section. Think about it. Frustration and anger just distract humans from attaining messages.

Now, watch how these do's and don'ts flow seamlessly from these truths. The next time your toddler is faced with a challenge – be it physical, social, emotional, cognitive or all of the above – and proceeds to lose her marbles, keep these do's and don'ts in mind:

• Do Accept – You want to meet the situation with an understanding that your child has not learned how to communicate or react yet and is behaving perfectly natural (albeit annoying). If you meet your child with a sense of understanding and acceptance, it will color your reaction and make your child more willing to adhere to your advice and support.
• Don't Get Defeated – Your confidence is key and should be bolstered by the fact that you know these situations are inevitable. Helping your child in these moments is very much part of your role now (albeit annoying). You'll be much more effective if you can manage to accept this as well as your child's behavior.
• Do Empathize – This ties into the acceptance piece and the #1 truth above. If you can somehow convey to your child that you genuinely feel for him in these (albeit annoying) moments, it will go a long way towards gaining his cooperation. Remember these are your little one's first encounters with these over-powering emotions. Try to articulate your empathy clearly.
• Don't Exude Frustration – You're a leader and a teacher. Think about the ones you look up to. They are calm and confident. If you get all flustered, you won't be able to communicate effectively and your child will not only be distracted from your messages - you will ironically be reinforcing the very behavior you wish to curb. (This flows from the truth I didn't list: It's fun to watch mom or dad sweat.)
• Do Interpret – Try to decipher what your child is telling you through her behavior. What's the message here and how did your own behavior or tone influence the scenario? (that part's not easy) Teach her the language she's missing.
• Don't Ignore – There's a time and place when the best thing to do is simply to ignore a child's behavior. But it will be both disrespectful and ineffective if you skip all the other steps.
• Do Teach – Once you've interpreted, it's time to impart. You can do this through both your calm words and your actions. What understanding or language is she missing that will help now and next time?
• Don't Train – Best to stay away from bribes unless you think Dana Carvey was onto something (hint: he's a comedian). As these little guys get older, you can start to explain the benefits associated with making the right choices. Calmly remind them what's in it for them - much more effective long term than bribes and threats.
• Do Redirect – For these young ones, especially when they're all fired-up, you don't want to get caught lecturing – keep it brief and then move the attention to the next activity. I'm not saying distract your child. I'm saying state the limit, the reason briefly, genuinely empathize and then move his attention toward something he can do. If you can somehow tie that activity towards what she wanted in the first place, but in a more acceptable manner, all the better. You'll be showing your child that you respect her (that makes humans more willing to listen). It will help if you sell it a bit - as you know, people follow enthusiastic leaders.
• Don't Punish – If you in fact accept all five truths above – especially #2 (I like making you read them again)– then it follows that punishing young children is futile. Just ask yourself: Do I want to teach my child that when he gets frustrated and tests limits he will be punished, or teach him that there are alternatives to his behavior, he can make better choices, it will benefit him in the end, and I am here to help him learn all that?
• Do Allow Emotions – There will no doubt be times when you have done all you can and your child is just not having any of your pearls of wisdom. This is key: allow your child to experience her emotions. Help her label and understand them in time (lots of time)(and then some). If you meet her emotions with understanding, support, and acceptance (accept too that you can't always "fix" it), the tantrums will lose power and eventually cease. Sometimes they just need a good cry.
• Don't Engage in Conflict – Getting worked up? They already know our buttons. Just respectfully and calmly tell your child YOU need to calm down and walk away from the battle. Stick to whatever lesson you were teaching and tell him you're ready to help him more when you both calm down; balance empathy with calm, confident consistency. Lead the way to communication and solutions.

The hardest part in all of this is keeping your own emotions under control when your child is pushing your buttons (see - didn't you like me better when I understood you?). But if you can manage to do more of these “do's” and less of these “don'ts,” you'll find your child will internalize the lessons sooner. That'll give you more time to read parenting articles – joy!

​http://parentcoachtom.com/the-dos-and-donts-of-toddler-discipline/

​From Infant to Teen: A Mini-Guide for Parents
 
So, baby is now safe at home, and now you're hit with the reality of the responsibility that comes with caring for a tiny human. Talk about a lot of joy and terror. But don't worry! New parents today have so many options for understanding each stage of development, and thanks to the internet, there is no lack of information. From infancy to the terrible twos, from tween drama to teen angst, there's a wealth of knowledge to help you along on this crazy and amazing journey.
 
While the following resources are by no means comprehensive, consider them a mini-tour guide to help you stay steady on the course.
 
The Littles
 
Bringing Home Baby: 109 Things We Wish We'd Known
Common Baby Sleep Problems: 10 Reasons Baby’s Not Sleeping (and How to Cope)
Baby Activities: What to Do at Home with a Newborn

The Newly Independent
 
Best Ways to Help Children Fall Asleep at Nap Time
How To Deal with a Toddler’s Public Meltdown
6 Reasons Why Preschool Is Good for Your Child
7 Educational and Entertaining Activities for Young Kids
 
The Ready-for-School Crew

Top Ten Tips for the Transition to Kindergarten
20 Sites to Improve Your Child’s Literacy
Tips for Homeschooling Math
How to Help Your Child Make Friends
 
The Tweens and Teens
 
Tips for Parenting Your Kid During Puberty
Defining the Tween Years for Parents
A Parent's Guide to Surviving the Teen Years
50 Everyday Ways to Love Your Teen
 
The parenthood struggle is real. It’s true that each stage comes with its own version of parental hazing, but the magic and wonder of watching your child develop will eclipse all those sleepless nights, tantrums and arguments. Once you have your baby home, 18 will seem like it’s light-years away, but kids really do grow up fast. Enjoy every crazy minute.

Schools are closed, many of us have been told to work from home or can't work at all, and there is a shelter-in-place order across the Bay Area. It is a stressful time for us all, filled with a multitude of unknowns. 

As we all know, children pick up on and feed off of our stress and anxiety.

Most children do not understand what is going on right now - they just know that they can't go to school and see their friends, and that something, maybe a little scary, is going on right now that is keeping us all at home. 

So, how do we talk about coronavirus with our kids? How much do we tell them? How can we explain it in a way they will understand?

It is important to keep your own anxiety in check and to explain coronavirus in an age appropriate way with age appropriate vocabulary.

It is ok to listen more than you talk. It is ok for them to have questions. It is ok to use words like "death", "dying", and "hospital". Think of this as an important opportunity to teach your child resilience and strength in the face of the unknown.

I have complied a few articles for you with tips, advice, and things you can do at home with your kids to help them understand what is going on in the world right now.

https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-coronavirus

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/lead-love-talk-kids-teens-133059476.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/17/parenting/coronavirus-kids-talk.html

https://time.com/5776857/how-to-talk-to-kids-coronavirus/

Have you ever had an embarrassing moment where your child (maybe quite loudly) asked you about some characteristic of another person? For example, “Mommy, why does that woman look like that?” The typical parental reaction is to attempt to quiet the child and move on as quickly as possible. As adults we’ve been taught not to ask such questions (at least not out loud). In contrast, children are not yet conditioned to refrain from sharing what they think or asking what they want to know.
Earlier on than most people realize, children become aware of and intrigued by the difference in the way people look and behave. In fact, Phyllis A. Katz, while a professor at the University of Colorado, found babies as young as six-months of age stared significantly longer at photographs of adults who were of a different color than their parents. The research evidence clearly indicates that children notice differences in race, ability, family composition and a multitude of other factors. Their questions are attempts to make sense of those observations so they can make sense of their own world.
As a parent, I know that children tend to ask the most challenging questions at the most inconvenient times. Rather than trying to quiet your child (which implies there is something wrong with the other person or with asking questions) take these opportunities to help your child understand and respect differences and similarities among those in your community. Provide brief, objective responses to their questions. For example, if your child comments about the difference in a person’s skin color tell her, “His skin color is white because his biological parents had white skin.” If your child asks you why a person is in a wheelchair tell him, “There is a medical reason why she is unable to walk by herself, so she uses the wheelchair to get from one place to another.”
By helping your child understand and respect similarities and differences you will also help your child to understand who he is in the context of your race, ethnic group, culture, religion, language and familial history. In so doing, you will provide your child with personally meaningful information and also introduce concepts from anthropology, history, religion, geography, etc.
Use these tips to spark your children’s curiosity about who they (and others) are in their world:

1. I love you/我愛你/Te quiero.Teaching your children words in the native language(s) of your family is a personal way to introduce them to different cultures, as well as family history. What better words to start with than, “I love you”. Moreover, since many classrooms are becoming increasingly diverse, consider teaching your child key phrases, such as “thank you” in a language represented in her classroom, which not only models respect for diversity but could allow her to forge new friendships. There are an abundance of apps that translate and speak words in different languages that can support this effort.

2. Celebrating others.Children’s books are wonderful resources for helping your child develop a sense of his or her own identity, as well as an understanding of those who are different in terms of race, family composition, religious beliefs and ability. Visit your library for books such as: It’s Okay to be Different (diversity); The Skin You Live In(acceptance); Same, Same But Different (culture and geography); Whoever You Are(diversity); Where Does God Live (religion); What is God (religion); Over the Moon (adoption); Don’t Call Me Special (disabilities); My Brother Sammy(autism); and The Family Book (different family configurations).

3. Exposure to other cultures brings personal meaning.While children’s books open children’s eyes to differences, actual experiences have the most profound influence on what children think and believe. Here are more hands-on activities you can try:

• Encourage cross-racial/ethnic/religious/ability friendships.
• Expose your children to foods from different cultures, like classic pork and cabbage dumplings or kimchi.
• Attend different events/festivals that celebrate a particular ethnic group, holiday or personal accomplishment, like the Special Olympics, the Chinese New Year or Holi, the Hindu festival of colors.
• Whether big or small, children’s or history museums house an abundance of artifacts from different cultures and countries. Since museums can be overwhelming for young children it helps to talk with your child about what you will see, what she wants to learn and then focus on that part of the museum (especially if the museum is large).
• Watch movies set in other cultures like My Neighbor Totoro, Kirikou and the Sorceress, and The Red Balloon.

4. The most powerful role model.While all of the activities listed above have been found to promote cultural awareness and respect, no activity is as powerful as the role model of a child’s parent(s). Children become culturally sensitive and respectful when they see adults who are culturally sensitive and respectful, and who take a stand against bias, racism or insensitivity. Lastly, it is important for adults to take a “strengths based” perspective when talking with children about those who are different from the child. This perspective focuses on the positive characteristics of a person and her abilities, what that person is able to do or does (as compared to what he cannot) and how differences make our world a better place.
By helping your child understand and respect similarities and differences, you will help him realize he is a wonderfully unique person among many other wonderfully unique people on this earth.
Proceeds from the sale of books purchased at Amazon.com help support PBS Parents. Thank you!

Author:
Christy Tirrell-Corbin, PhD is the Director of Early Childhood/Early Childhood Special Education at the University of Maryland where she teaches a course entitled, Culture and Community Perspectives: The Diverse World of the Child. Dr. Tirrell-Corbin’s research interests focus on family engagement, notably around teachers’ beliefs and practices around issues of race and culture. She also serves as a consultant for several educational organizations, including PBS Kids and National Geographic. Follow her on Twitter @TirrellCorbin.

​It’s preschool week here at NYT Parenting. When I started looking into preschools for my older daughter, a lot of terms were thrown at me as if I knew what they meant (which I certainly did not). We have explainers for some of these early-childhood education buzzwords — Montessori, Reggio, Waldorf and “forest school” — so you can be less ignorant than I was.
Another shock to the system when I began the preschool process: the astronomical cost. So we partnered with YouGov to survey American parents on how the cost of preschool and day care is affecting their lives. We polled more than 1,000 parents and found that 20 percent reported going into debt to pay for preschool and day care — a sobering but unsurprising result.

We will send our younger gal off to school for the first time in a few weeks, and I’m bracing myself for another common issue during school transitions — rough drop-offs. I remember leaving her older sister at preschool for the first time and feeling smugly confident about the fact that she didn’t cry when we left. I recall thinking to myself, Look how well we prepared her for this experience! What excellent parents we are!
Turns out, she didn’t cry because she thought preschool was a one-time thing. On day two, when she realized that this would be her reality for the foreseeable future, she started wailing as we said our goodbyes. I can still hear the echoing, “Don’t leave, Mommy!!!” in the depths of my soul.
My daughter’s preschool teachers were extra helpful in easing those tough moments: they outlined very clearly that drop-off happened in the cubby area, outside the classroom, and helped parents disentangle from their little clingers swiftly but kindly. Amanda Marsden, a kindergarten teacher in Cape Elizabeth, Me., said that she’s always given parents the advice to just leave quickly if their kids are crying, but now that she’s a parent too, she empathizes with how difficult that can be. “Watching your baby cry is so, so hard to just walk away from,” she said.
I called Amanda to get her professional advice about how best to support your kids through their first weeks of school if drop-offs are hairy. Here are her tips.

Check the school’s drop-off policy, if it’s possible to do so before school starts. That way you can talk to your kids about what to expect at drop-off and prepare them. “It’s important to go through the process with them, so it’s not a total shock when you’re like, ‘O.K., bye!’” Marsden said.

Make the separation quick. Many schools won’t let parents over the threshold of the classroom, and for good reason: any further in, and it can become more challenging to separate, Marsden said. While it’s certainly painful to walk away while your child is still sobbing, they’ll typically stop crying within a few minutes after you leave (cliché, but true, Marsden said). Your kid will get into the rhythm of his school day and forget about you. “The routinization is comforting,” Marsden said.

Remember that school brings a new set of emotional expectations. One thing Marsden said that really resonated with me was that, for some kids, school is the first time they are expected to be “on” during the day. The demands are much different at school than they are at home, and on some level, children are performing just as we do in the adult world. This can be emotionally draining for them just as it is for us, and understanding this may help you reframe their experience.

Offer them something reminiscent of home. If your child is still struggling to adjust after a week or so, talk to her teacher about different tactics that might calm her, Marsden said. Giving her an object that reminds her of home might help, whether that’s a family photo, a stuffed animal or a small blanket that she can take to a quiet space when she feels homesick. When my older daughter was having a rough time during the first months of kindergarten, I gave her a fuzzy key chain and told her whenever she missed me, to rub it and know that I was thinking about her.

Stay positive. It’s hard for any parent to walk away from a sobbing kid. But you have to pretend like it’s not. “If you’re showing that it’s really hard for you, kids are incredibly intuitive and emotionally in check with what you’re giving out,” Marsden said, and they will pick up on your upset. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a good cry yourself after you walk away from them, but keep that smile plastered on during the separation.

By Jessica Grose of the NY Times
Published Aug. 20, 2019
Updated Aug. 22, 2019
​https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/20/parenting/school-dropoffs.html