It takes every ounce of energy you got to walk away from your crying child and trusting that you made the right decision when you signed them up for preschool.  The first good-bye is always the hardest, but it does get easier.  Some children adjust right away in a preschool setting, while others may take up to a month. 

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts when it comes to saying good-bye.

Prior to the first day of school:

• See if your child’s preschool offers transitional visits prior to them starting school.  These are usually one or two short visits to get familiar with the environment and the teachers
• Get them excited about what they saw in their classroom during their visit.  Talk about the different types of activities that they can do when they go back
• Read books about going to school and let your child know that Mommy’s and Daddy’s will always come back to pick them up
• Pack a comfort item (blanket, small stuff animal, a family picture, etc) that will remind them of home if they are sad
• Plan extra time in the morning for your child’s first day so that you are not rushing out the front door

First day of school:

Do’s

• Be excited while getting ready for school.  Remind them of all the fun things they saw during their transitional visits
• While driving to school let them know when you will be back to pick them up.  Children 2 to 3 years old do not understand the concept of time, but they do understand the concept of routine.  Example, “after you wake up from naptime, I will be back to pick you up”
• Walk them to their classroom and help them find their cubby
• Walk around the classroom and try to engage them in an activity with a child or with a teacher
• Try to make your drop-off short.  The longer you stay the harder it is for you to leave
• Before you leave say good-bye to your child even if they are playing.  Let them know that you are leaving, but that you will be back after “xyz”
• Have your child’s teacher or director give you a call or send pictures to let you know how their morning went

Don’ts

• Do not sneak out of the classroom to avoid saying good-bye.  This will give your child more anxiety during the next drop-off because they will never know when you will be leaving them
• Try not to stay too long and interfere with the classroom’s daily routine
• Do not say good-bye to your child and then come back in the classroom to check on them

If you prolong your departure because your child is telling you not to leave while crying, they will soon realize that the longer they cry the longer you will stay.  Ask your child’s teacher for assistance and have them help you say your good-byes.  It is important to understand that when your child is crying during this time they are also building trust with their teacher.  Respect this bonding time because the faster they build their trust the faster they will adjust into the classroom. 
 
 

As children become more verbal they will undoubtedly start testing their limits and boundaries.  Children absorb information like a sponge and they learn early on what they can and cannot get away with.   Sharing control with your child and knowing how to pick and choose your battles can help when entering the “terrifying” Two’s and Three’s.

Children who feel like they are in control of their own actions are more incline to do what you ask them to do.  This also makes them feel empowered and confident that you trust them enough to make their own decisions.  When your child refuses to listen to a simple request, share control with them and give them two options to choose from that have the same end-results.

Here are a few scenarios to help you get a better idea of giving two options that have the same end-results:

1. Clean-up time: Before asking your child to clean-up their toys, make sure you give them a fair warning prior to them ending their play. For example, “Johnny after you are done building your tower we will need to start cleaning up your blocks”.  If Johnny refuses to clean-up his blocks after he is done building with them you give him your two options:  “Johnny you can clean-up the blocks by yourself or I can come and help you.  What do you choose?”
2. Having your child stay close to you in public:  Running errands can be taxing especially when your child likes to wonder away from you.  To avoid this situation, set your expectations before you enter into the store or run your errands.  For example, “Johnny, mom needs to buy a few things for dinner tonight.  I want you to stay close to me while we are shopping so you can either sit inside the shopping cart or hold my hand.  What do you want to do?”
3. Brushing teeth:  Bedtime routines can often feel drawn out, but the more you stick with a set routine the easier it will be.  Children function better when they know what to expect so if your child brushes their teeth after they bathe try sticking to that schedule.  If your child is refusing to brush their teeth you can say: “Johnny you need to brush your teeth so do you want mommy to help you or daddy to help you tonight?”
   

Sharing control with you child takes patience and sometimes you may need to sit there and repeat yourself over and over again until they answer you.  Remember to pick and choose your battles and set realistic options for your child (stick with only giving two options).  If you child continues to ignore your simple request you can give them another set of options: “if you don’t choose what you want to do, I will choose for you,  do you want me to choose for you or can you choose for yourself?”  Ultimately getting the end-result is the goal so think of creative options that would entice your child to share control. 

Half the battle of potty training is knowing when to start.  Here are some tips and tricks to help ease the stress of potty training.

Signs your child is ready to start potty training:

• Shows interest in the potty
• Has body awareness. Understands when they are wet or has a bowel movement in their diaper
• Can pull pants down and up
• Wakes up dry from bedtime or nap

Prepare your child:

• Talk it up!  Make this potty training event exciting!  Make them feel independent and like a big boy or girl
• Have them pick out their underwear, potty seat and stickers for the potty training chart
• Review your potty training chart so they can understand the process
• Don’t plan any major trips or events for a week or two
• Take the whole weekend to potty train before sending them to school or leaving the house for an extended period of time
• Inform all care takers about your process and be consistent
• Practice washing hands, flushing toilet, putting toilet paper in the potty and pulling down and up pants
• Have them observe you, your partner or older sibling using the potty
• Put a mirror in front of the potty so that they can watch themselves
• Go to the library to find books about potty training
• Come up with a reward system.  When they produce “x-number” of times on the potty they receive a prize.  Examples:  every time they use the toilet and produce they get one piece of candy (m&m) after 5 times they get to visit the toy store and pick out one toy under $10 dollars.

Potty training event:

• First thing in the morning, after nap  or after eating are key times to use the potty
• Put them in clothes that are easy to remove
• Praise them for each step they complete on the potty training chart
• Take them every hour at first and slowly space it out to two hours, three hours, etc
• If they have an accident, don’t shame them!  Be positive and say “It’s okay let’s try again”
• Have them go through the process of changing themselves when they have an accident so they can understand the whole concept of potty training.  They will realize that it will take longer to stop doing/playing with what they were doing then to go to the bathroom in the first place
• After three accidents have them try again the next day.  Don’t put too much pressure in the beginning.  Remember it is supposed to be a positive experience
• Stick with using underwear only.  Try not to use pull-ups as it can be hard for your child to differentiate between underwear and pull-ups
• Review your potty training chart.  Make them feel proud and have them share it with other family members
  
• Be consistent with your process and be ready for lots of accidents
• After a week if they are struggling or having anxiety about it, try it again next month or when they are ready
• Use a diaper during bedtime if they do not wake up dry
• Don’t stress yourself or your child.  Realize that they will get it when they are ready

Have fun and best of luck!